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being cool means you don’t have to surf, much.

This is Jonny, and he’s cool on oils.

Jonny’s checking back to the car park after a looksee at the Pier this morning. Not good enough man, he only threads those piles on double-overhead days. Junk days like this are for junior Pro bait. Kids who need attention. Plus who the fuck is this snapping off a rent free pic .. some of the hardest men in the surf-snap business know that Jonny doesn’t farm his image out without legal paper.

Dude taking the shot must be near shitting himself after copping this death stare.


We have to ask though, how is a guy going to stay on his board with all that cooking oil smeared over the torso? That greasy shit is going to smear all over the deck, all over his hands and all over his feet – and how good is the combination of slippery oil and stay at home wax ..?

Works kind of well in some sex routines is what we read, but in the wild surf ..? Jonny?

Jonny is good though, all you have to do is squirt a little agua on the hair, get the wet oil rub down and head down to the surf. Then you just walk through the piles and out the other side and hey whaddyaknow – dude looks like he’s just checked back inshore after a couple of heavy sections.




A lot of people out there don’t know what goes on in the tent on competition day, they think that everybody in there is scoofing drugs and mainlining Jack Johnson. So true.


< – – not so Taylor. We’re looking at a frenzy of high-turbine emotion here, this is the face of competitive surfing and with Taylor we are thinking he’s also caught his toe in the amp box. This is how shit happens.

Injury is a big deal in the game, scratching over all those coral heads – and the guy who sold him the Therabeads said yeah sure they go ok on top of the wetsuit, whatever, and white goes good with the hair.

So, we’re thinking that Taylor won’t go right now; the shoulder’s bumped, the hair’s electrified and the universe isn’t aligned or something.

If it’s ok with Dane to go that road, .. you know?



Meet Dan, deep thinker Dan.

When Dan was establishing his surfing chops somebody told him that the only way to get WQS ranked was to ‘ suck it in. ‘

Americans need that sort of encouragement, they got to suck it in, Australians get to ‘ blow it out ‘ – the English have to put a cork in it and the Brasilians need some kind of mass destruction.

So here is Dan with his New surfboard – and how good is that for a brand ..?

‘ Whaddya got there Dan? ‘

‘ Oh, I got a new surfboard. ‘ Everytime.


No real idea what Dan is sucking there, or kissing, or chewing maybe .. but it sure has glassed him off. Maybe the whole necklace is just a lolly-coated train mix.

This could be another opening.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. he’s super glued his fingers to his lips

    May 24, 2012
  2. What’s a bloke gotta do to get respeck…

    Me names Tayla. Wiv a A, doofus

    You’ll be hearing from my suit….

    May 24, 2012
    • taylor’s a babe stiv .. but she fits ok

      May 24, 2012
      • I’ve never been so insulted in my entire life….

        May 25, 2012

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