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jordy smith cutting back

Here we go again.

It doesn’t matter who is who on top of the board these days, they all want to rip off one of these dis-functional showboat spraytop finpopping back-sliding cutbacks. For the punters.  For the magazines, the promo poster. Plus who would want to wear a pair of houndstooth boardshorts unless he got them for nothing.

J. Smith is in a truly hopeless position here, if he was to do this in a comp we could deduct so many points his wave score would be negative; let us count the ways.

The back foot. 

Have a close look here, the bloody thing is hanging foul in mid-air, it’s weightless ..! How can that be right, the back foot is supposed to be the weight and the steering on a wave, the back foot is there to provide a little spurt when a more juice is required. Mr. Smith has forgotten that only kooks surf on one leg.

The trailing arm.

I’m glad you asked, and yes you are right – without that emergency stability thrust into the wave Mr. Smith would be completely on his arse here. Now we have world number (whatever) surfing without the use of one foot and one arm. And he still gets his pic taken and splashed all over those magazines that nobody of real merit buys anyway.

The leading arm.

We all know it, it’s looking for assistance. It has nowhere to go but into neutral. That limb is strictly non-functioning here, all the weight that it is able to contribute to the change of direction and acceleration is on a nail on the wall. It is a non-contributor. Add it to the other two.

I could beat this bloke.

The leading foot.

At least it is still in touch with the board, for this he gets 1 point. Congratulations.

and lastly – The arse.

– and why not. He’s already minus the back foot, the trailing arm and the leading arm so what’s a bloke got left to use to stay upright? – and the guts look a little on the sloppy side as well.

smith pic from orangecounty.com

3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Nick Carroll #

    ha ha pete you couldn’t even get close to it!

    – Modern surfing doesn’t just rely on the back foot, it has expanded these days to include the front foot as well!
    – “Layback” trailing arm technique is basically a flip of backside style and has been around since the mid 70s, see Joe Engel, Simon Anderson, Kong etc
    – Leading arm angle helps control the nose rail so it pulls up at the end of a turn.
    – see point one. Indeed, most modern surfing relies more on forward weighting than on the “back foot”.
    – yes that is right, you can use your bottom as a control device in surfing. See modern backside tuberiding technique for further examples.

    I dunno these young people, it wasn’t like that in my day.

    August 31, 2012
  2. I knew a bloke who used to use his bottom as a control device in surfing too, an old Bondi lad known to us all – although he will never admit to this.

    – He slipped off his (hollow cedar) board during a lull one Sunday, swam underwater and over to the crew who were sitting around on the surface bullshitting away, as usual, and he laid a quality dump on the bottom – which floated up – as he slipped away – then he popped up in total synchronicity with the dodger (but way over there) and laughed and laughed.

    August 31, 2012
  3. sjh #

    slippery slide comments run up hill only to be caught in a bucket with no bottom wasted washed away black deep

    no light

    September 1, 2012

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