layne beachley .. enough is more than plenty
Lovely lady Layne, I’m sure. Express surfer as well, known for going it big and going out with Kenny Bradford, Bradshore or something – he was a big wave boofhead in Hawaii. A contender.
She wasn’t known for having a cutback either. Note the rigid leading lower limb here. If you’re going to hang your arse over the water two bent legs are necessary to deliver circular accelerating velocity. Thighs like Tom Carroll aren’t enough.
This is fundamental.
Apparently Beachley and Bradforce both went out at Sunset in all sorts of conditions and threw rocks at each other underwater. We find this a little hard to believe seeing as how no magazines picked up the event and nothing in surfing can be believed unless it’s been printed and racked in a newsagent stand. Plus neither of them ever ducked during the session, there’s ways of knowing this.
Did you hear about the six blokes who wanted to be on the surfboat crew? They were asked to stand up against a wall as someone chucked bricks at them. The guys who got the spots were the ones who didn’t duck.
Beachley was a world champ about seven times and right now she’s looking over her shoulder at Ms S. Gilmore who is in the number of times world champion overtaking lane with about five up. That’s the scenario. As soon as Gilmore gets to seven Beachley is out of the news forever and for this we are truly thankful – it’s been nearly twenty years since LB won her first comp at Narrabeen. Twenty. Years.
And the way we hear it is that she still hasn’t had enough media coverage for the effort. Having your picture on the back of a bus crushing a can, or something, never did lead to anything BIG enough for Layne.
Ask me how we know this – because she keeps on telling it like this. Layne digs Layne so righteously so. She wrote the book. She gives the presentations. She talks to the news media. Walks in parades, rides camels – eats with a spoon. Marries the guy in the back of all the INXS posters, the sax tootler. The one with the face fiz.
If we were to dispense with all the singular personal pronouns* in Standard Modern English Layne Beachley would disappear. Forever.
Does anyone know how to make that happen?
* I, me, my, myself