how to behave socially if you are a surfer (amended)
A few reminders for those new to the game.
Rule (1) N0 logos.
Rule (2) Nothing crisp, nothing new, nothing ironed, nothing pressed and nothing neat.
No after-shave, no talc, no deodorant, no hair-oil, no hair spray, no body-cream.
Easy on the beer, wine, rum, vodka, gin, bourbon.
Steady on the mull, grass, dope, flake, mix, dupe, green, fake, shake.
No girly pills, no happy powder, no scrape the bottom, no needle.
If it’s hot, eat it.
If it’s cold, eat it.
If it’s there, eat it.
No Jimmys, no brothers, no dudes. No bros, bro. No drunks, no huggers. No workmates, no colleagues. No kiwis. No highly intelligent persons. No big earners.
No boof, no doof, no Kylie, no Delta, no Farnham, no Barnes, no Stones, no piano, no strings, no Elton, no Beach Boys, no Jan and Dean, no Jimmy Buffet, no James Taylor. Nothing Californian. Nothing Indian. No guitars. No Madonna, No Ga Ga. No Dragon Force. No jazz.
No Nat Young, no Pipeline, no JB Gomes, no Waimea bay. No Bondi. Nothing Californian. No porn.
No shakas, no handslaps, no phony yank secret finger business. No double-up handshakes, no poncy euro kissing. No bro hugs, no head musses, no knuckle taps.
No wives, no steady girl friends, no lucky dips, no sisters, no mothers aunts or nieces.
Nothing professional. Nothing gay. Nothing strange. No girls with mens’ names.
No Volvos, no Jeep Cherokees, no Mercedes, no Porsches, nothing silver, nothing red, nothing company owned.
No P plates, no Toranas. No bikes.
No personal ability bullshit, no geographical bullshit, no big surf bullshit. No bullshit.
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