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how to behave socially if you are a surfer (amended)

A few reminders for those new to the game.

WARDROBE.

Rule (1) N0 logos.

Rule (2) Nothing crisp, nothing new, nothing ironed, nothing pressed and nothing neat.

PERSONAL HYGIENE.

No after-shave, no talc, no deodorant, no hair-oil, no hair spray, no body-cream.

DRUG INTAKE.

Easy on the beer, wine, rum, vodka, gin, bourbon.

Steady on the mull, grass, dope, flake, mix, dupe, green, fake, shake.

No girly pills, no happy powder, no scrape the bottom, no needle.

FOOD INTAKE.

If it’s hot, eat it.

If it’s cold, eat it.

If it’s there, eat it.

FRIENDS.

No Jimmys, no brothers, no dudes. No bros, bro. No drunks, no huggers. No workmates, no colleagues. No kiwis. No highly intelligent persons. No big earners.

MUSIC.

No boof, no doof, no Kylie, no Delta, no Farnham, no Barnes, no Stones, no piano, no strings, no Elton, no Beach Boys, no Jan and Dean, no Jimmy Buffet, no James Taylor. Nothing Californian. Nothing Indian. No guitars. No Madonna, No Ga Ga. No Dragon Force. No jazz.

FILM.

No Nat Young, no Pipeline, no JB Gomes, no Waimea bay. No Bondi. Nothing Californian. No porn.

GREETINGS.

No shakas, no handslaps, no phony yank secret finger business. No double-up handshakes, no poncy euro kissing. No bro hugs, no head musses, no knuckle taps.

PARTNERS.

No wives, no steady girl friends, no lucky dips, no sisters, no mothers aunts or nieces.

Nothing professional. Nothing gay. Nothing strange. No girls with mens’ names.

TRANSPORT.

No Volvos, no Jeep Cherokees, no Mercedes, no Porsches, nothing silver, nothing red, nothing company owned.

No P plates, no Toranas. No bikes.

CONVERSATION.

No personal ability bullshit, no geographical bullshit, no big surf bullshit. No bullshit.

7 Comments Post a comment
  1. how do you know me!

    October 18, 2011
  2. no jimmys, did I forget that?

    October 18, 2011
  3. haha you cut to the core of me

    October 18, 2011
  4. what the hell is left ??????????

    October 18, 2011
  5. kiwis, did I forget them too?

    October 18, 2011
  6. How about no intellectuals? I suppose that goes without saying.

    October 18, 2011
  7. sorted

    October 18, 2011

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