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why chicks don’t dig you – the toes.

Surfing is a concept. Ask Kant, he’s up there in The Knowledge.

To understand this radical departure from all that is close to us we must examine ourselves because – Truth is Enlightenment.

Walk with us here as we depart on this voyage of reality  where we seek to diminish ‘ The Surfer ‘ to the ignominious failure that he most surely is in the eyes of the chick who doesn’t dig him.

We are not pissing about here, this post is about human physiology, ecophysiology – or how we hang onto the planet.

< ~ ~ ~ The Feet.

Gentlemen don’t have toes that don’t like each other, gentlemen don’t have toes that will allow a cane toad to slip through the the gaps. These specimens ^ (pictured) are typical, gaps in toes are as definitive as gaps in teeth, they are evidence of an ill-educated and badly nourished youth. The surfing gene pool.

boofheads + salt water = surfer

Here in the Northern Rivers they abide in ever increasing numbers, toads and ^ youths.

Saturday night in Byron Bay and the streets are  full of local barefoot youths stamping down the rampaging canetoads, streets full of drunken youths, stoned youths – and all the beautiful girls standing around shrieking and laughing are not so much impressed by the boofheads as they are by the agility of the toads as they slip this way and that.

The Dance of The Toads.

The sober toads know that nobody dies, and they rise through the cracks. They root like rabbits and they breed like flies, they smear the roads to such an extent it’s an exasperation that the local council doesn’t consider using their mummified husks as roadbase and not a lot of chicks up here dig the council just quietly.

This lad ^ has obviously been wearing thongs for so long and in any order of toe his feet resemble those of an orangutan, and no lady I know wants to wake up next to a rangy.

The open-toe test is simple, run a finger between any gap down there, lift the finger to the nostril and inhale – then reel back in horror and revulsion. Parts of you are dying down there brother, rotting away.

Head pic of Emmanuel Kant – BIG thinker

6 Comments Post a comment
  1. I thought we did the toes back when…but hey Pete if you are trying to really gross people out…it’s beginning to work. STOP IT !!! I want to hold on to my memories of THE SURFER as…well not this God damn it !!!!!!!!!

    October 14, 2011
    • We are slowly moving up the body again Jo – inch by inch. There will be pain.

      October 14, 2011
  2. Wasn’t as easy as I thought to get my toes near my nostrils… probably a good thing…

    October 14, 2011
    • @Pete – you are cruel and merciless
      @Bukit – Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

      October 15, 2011
  3. Those are beautiful toes…whose are they?? Perfect feet 🙂

    February 14, 2014
  4. They belong to snatching jack hooverman from margaret river – sjh – he uses them to deal cards

    February 15, 2014

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