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surfing journalism – where is the truth?

Well not here for a start, we have more important matters to consider, like these new faces for the launch of Billabong’s European pro season. First up Italy.

< – ~ This is Amatore Abbanziorini. The Italian Icon, yo.

AA, as he is known, has Grande Machismo – even when when he’s about to lose his underdacks because some chump has over-revved the wind machine. What’s an hombre got to do here, halfway through a shoot and nobody knows how to regulate a power-governor .. cazzo cretinos

meanwhile ..

The look we are striving for here is an improvement on the brown-eye a lot of surfers give passing traffic when they change by the side of the road, that is so passé.

The next time we see a size fifteen double-cheek trying to squeeze his big bare arse into a size eight slimline Billabong Revolution in the Dee Why carpark he’ll cop a copy of The Resurgence Manifesto across the back of his head and 35,000 volts up the khyber* courtesy of Mr. Taser.

So here’s Amatore ^ (check) fresh out of his street gear, out of the Fiat and heading across the road to sort out the sluggos and wetsuit. Doin’ the walk. Also note Il Tricolere artfully placed, you cannot deny tradition. Fascism was and will always be the Italian way, that and Bunga Bunga – just queue those babes up amico.

Billabong are the first aboard this train and what better way is there to subdue and monopolise the market than get a little politically sensitive  and have the other corporations branded as traitors and thrown into the dungeons.

Then we can all go sailing south with Butterballs Berlusconi, power has its rewards. Those black Libyan babes look hot hey bro do they not. Somebody rope ’em up on board, save them the swim.

So note the date, 17 March 1861 / 2011 – The Resurgence. Up ^ there, on the Amatori National Banner. 

This is hardline surf journalism here, we don’t piss about like the Shearers and the Carrolls, here we spell it all out, we spill it all out. The agenda has been leaked, we are on the ground. If it leaks it smells.
~
The Billabong Resurgence campaign has already started, marketing and sales are preparing for hundreds of thousands of Amatoris to get into their underdaks and run around the piazza with the national flag wrapped around themselves.
~
– and just in case you didn’t think that we are serious, you may remember this hood ornament < (check left) on the Rolls Royce, well Alfa Romeo have been made an offer that they cannot possibly refuse and the next Alfa TZ3 will have Amatori stepping off the grill.
~
Fascism and surfing are ok in bed together, there is valid issue to this easy compliance, we can look back with satisfaction at how Australia managed it a couple of years ago. Lots of attractive and fit young men running around the streets in their shorts thumping strangers and all of them wearing the national flag. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie – smack bang thud.
~

Thank you for getting this far, tomorrow we expose the surf corporate marketing plans for France, Germany, Britain,

system failure, sources lost,

*Khyber Pass, Australian for arse – just in case you are an American, and bless you.

5 Comments Post a comment
  1. Absolutely love the photo and your prose to go with it!

    September 24, 2011
  2. thanks team, hard-hitting stuff ain’t it – we write it here, and consequences be buggered (he must have a few safety pins holding up the daks there)

    September 25, 2011
  3. The Roller #

    Peter,

    Journalism, commerce and surfing have been in bed together from the very beginning.

    http://files.legendarysurfers.com/surf/legends/ls05_freeth_verge2001.html

    And it’s not about to change now…. No matter how many attempts old Rottkamp try to predict otherwise.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rottkamp

    September 25, 2011
  4. The Roller #

    Peter,

    With the price of most major commodities hitting the shitstorm of a major correction in pricing, do you not realize that Australia’s “smack bang thud”, will solely happen because their society did not manage to diversify much past the commodity based economy in which it’s tied to?

    The harder they come, the harder they fall.

    September 25, 2011
  5. Well I dunno Roller, small businesses are the biggest employer over here, not the mines – and we don’t do so bad at manufacturing either. Trouble is all you ever read anywhere is the bad news.
    Plus up where I live the cash economy is pretty healthy, the small towns have great networks of tradesmen and I reckon that would be typical.

    September 25, 2011

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