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the billabong teahupoo 2013 pro – a look at the minor contestants. (2) rinky dora

The 2011 Tahiti Billabong Pro comp is underway and the world’s best have gathered here to compete in one of the more dangerous events on the surfing calendar. Teahupoo is almost impossible to paddle into when the wave gets to a serious height and any miscalculation can become very serious, many contestants are injured, and many lose all their confidence when faced with a massive heat.

Here we look at the new-comers, the minor contestants, and we examine their motives.

Dude, meet rinky .. Rinky Dora.

All the old rumours are true, da cat had da kid. Hey hey, say that quick ten times with bongos. Rinky leapt through the WQS rankings inabout as long as it took that Reynolds cat to bail out of the contest. One minute he’s not around , next minute he’s sitting behind the beer tent pissed at the number of lay-days.

< – – – somebody get me out there.

Rinks is big with the Aussie crew, he says that five years at the top of the ladder will be plenty – he’s like his old man that way, score some big money, bounce some big cheques and the get the fuck out of the country. That’s why The Rink gets on with Aussies, any fool who thinks a signature on a bit of paper is money needs someone to look in his ear and see if there is a brain there.

Like many professional surfers The Rinker likes to lay out a few chords when the sun goes down and everyone heads for the trashtent. Like No-Bones Curran and Beau NotNat Young, and that Jack Johnson whiner – who would think to write a song called Flake without considering the consequences? … like.

Brushfire Fairytales .. and this guy surfed Sunset ..

Flake – read it and weep.

I know she said it’s alright 
But you can make it up next time 
I know she knows it’s not right 
There ain’t no use in lying 
Maybe she thinks I know something 
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine 
Maybe she knows something I don’t 
I’m so, I’m so tired, I’m so tired of trying 

– and I’m so tired of listening Jacko, it ain’t real music if you don’t bleed making it. This is Rink here.

The Rinkster is a no-logo guy too, he wants to win bare-backed, like that Shostakovitch bro, Shosta or something, that guy, the guy that everytime he steps out of a door he trips over babes.

He’s hoping for a semi-final with Big Mick on Sunday, the swell is forecast to be maximum about then and he knows Fanning well enough to chew him down a little to size, I mean the guy is Irish, he comes from some ‘burb west of Alice Springs and he copped a score for being pissed and jumping on the jews. Look into my eyes Mick, and read tomorrow’s news.*

‘ White Lightening ..? ‘ The joker is in for some White Frightening man. This is the Rink here.

Bruce who ..?

* and Jack ..? It ain’t hard man.

One Comment Post a comment
  1. Davo's Liver #

    The Serb guy is gonna smoke him.

    August 24, 2011

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