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diner en blanc – the new bondi

Bondi Beach is about to host an event that requires every paying guest to “register online, dress elegantly all in white, bringing their own white tables, chairs, crockery, cutlery and a white garbage bag to take away their own refuse,” according to publicly available council documents.

“Guests will bring their own picnic or pre-order a hamper, with only wine that is pre-ordered allowed at the event.”

< The header pic shows a decent sized crowd at South Bondi in the sixties, a couple of thousand on the sand, what it doesn’t show is that the only dunny available for the south end was just under the stairs leading up to Notts Avenue. Two cubicles for the ladies and one for the men. Either that or the Astra’s primitive facilities and I know what you’re thinking.

Where did everybody go to take a leak, or worse?

I mean, here we had a beach famous for bringing in the stink and much much more from the sewerage outflow just around the northern headland so how’s it going to make it any worse if a bloke decides to go for a snakes in the surf? Even if a fellow had to do the daily dump he could swim out far enough so’s not to bother the wife and kiddies. Besides, who’s going to notice another floater amongst the thousands already out there?  I know it didn’t bother Cochran so I don’t see we had a problem. But now we have 5,000 fully clothed toffs bringing their hampers and champers down for an evening nosh next month. How very gay and I mean that in the old sense of the word.

This is where you ask yourself how many times does a man feel the urge to splash his boots during a long, fluid and convivial dinner with a tableful of thirsty friends? No problem in a restaurant or pub, they’re built for mass fluid alleviation these days, you can be in and out in a few minutes. Nobody cares if you didn’t wash your hands because we’re such an egalitarian mob.

But what about all these nobs? How safe will their hampers and champers be if they have to hoof it up to the new pav and wait in line for twenty minutes, or if that’s too crowded, hike over the road to the Bondi Hotel and try not to look too silly with the all-white ensemble as you walk through a bar full of hardnut locals?

I can’t see many of the above ripping off their gear and going for a plunge for a bit of relief, half of them probably can’t swim, or maybe that’s what the white refuse bags are for  .. if it’s good enough for the poodle. Know what I mean?

With all that said, I did a little research on the weather conditions at Bondi last November 12th. This is what a bloke has to do when he’s committed to writing an in-depth piece on current day social conditions. As a matter of fact, and after finding what I wanted for last year I decided to go back another couple of years for the same date. The findings were unbelievable. The images outstanding. I was staggered.

November 12 – 2021

Bondi Beach on a rainy day - Picture of Locl Tour Sydney Sightseeing Bus & Free Walking Tours - Tripadvisor

November 12 – 2020

Sydney Storm: Bondi Beach | Herald Sun

November 12 – 2019

A man walks in pouring rain on Sydney's Bondi Beach as the city... News Photo - Getty Images

November 12 – 2018

Sydney storm clouds build over Bondi Beach November 13, 2015

November 12 – 2017

Storm surge approaching Bondi Beach (Sydney, Aus) : r/pics

November 12 – 2016

Sydney weather: City gets two months of rain in under 48 hours | Daily Mail Online

November 12 – 2015

Massive waves lash Sydney's coast and spill onto Bondi Beach promenade as BOM issues hazardous surf warning for NSW | Sky News Australia

November 12 – 2014

Here’s hoping.

7 Comments Post a comment
  1. Blimey Pete, you should come to sunny Britain! 😂

    October 11, 2022
    • I like the look of some of your Yorkshire beaches, Johnno, and could always do with a feed of your fish and chips.

      October 11, 2022
  2. Terry Jenkings #

    You missed by a day Pete …the rain is forecast for tomorrow the 13th,including a Southerly and possible flash flooding. But, life goes on. Maybe some smart advertiser will seize the opportunity to do an Omo or Rinso commercial today as the Posh Picnic takes hold. Little do they know, but the notorious Bondi water rats will be eyeing the picnic patron’s baskets just waiting for the sun to go down!!!

    November 12, 2022
    • I was looking at Aquabumps the other day and he had a shot of about 1,000 salties coming out of the water at North Bondi prior to hitting the coffee shops … how are you blokes dealing with that mob?

      November 12, 2022
      • Terry Jenkings #

        Simple solution- by keeping to the South end – it’s always attracted the riff- raff, the rebels , the abandoned and the non- complying!!! There are still enough of us who gather up South to scare off the blowies and anyway, they never learned the Bondi banter so venturing South is like being in a foreign country for them. Your Mate Andy Cochran flies in from Hawaii regularly these days, so parents don’t let their daughters stray South when AC is in town 😂😂😂.

        November 12, 2022
        • I remember non-complying with school attendance on a regular basis only to be told on one mid-term day that there was a man in a suit up on the promenade using a pair of binoculars and watching the boardriders out at the southern end, it was my old man looking for me. The punishment was severe, so was the short back and sides and a desk all by itself at the back of the class. But I still scored Physics and English in the Leaving Certificate. Two out of eight ain’t bad.

          November 12, 2022
        • Terry Jenkings #

          Pete – and my old man and Scotty Dillon’s old man were Surf Club mates. So, Dad rang Scotty and asked him to keep an eye on me as I get up to mischief!!! Little did Dad know that Scotty was a pioneer larrikin. In later years when Scotty went up North we use to laugh about this “ guardianship “ when we met up. Those Elders taught us well.They were great blokes . Barry Ross was another entrusted with my moral wellbeing. Only Tony Rule still around the beach. I catch up with him when he is in town. Our fathers use to drink together at The Royal.

          November 12, 2022

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