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why understanding a chinaman is a work

Some languages have the same words mean different things. Like Mandarin, or Cantonese – you can say the same couple of words and given the local inflections they can convey a multitude of interpretations. This is why Hong Kong cab drivers always get it wrong.  Thai is the same, and Bahasa, this is why you end up at Kuta when Ulu beckons. The fuckers don’t understand plain english, plus they like the extra cab fare – as if that makes it ok.

We are different here, in this great island girt by sea, we speak it plain and simple, and if the listener is unable to get ahold of the gist of what we are saying then he should take lessons.

For instance: The simple phrase, ‘ You right mate? ‘

(1) Here’s a mate face down in the gutter, fully blasted on meth, bleeding from all orifices, stone cold pale and writhing from some inner rage which means the coppers will hammer him with about 15 Taser darts inabout as long as it takes them to roll up and roll out mob handed. Party time. There is some pleasure taken there. Tell me I’m wrong.

So what do you say to him, your mate down there?

‘ You right mate? ‘

or (2) Here’s a complete fucking dickhead who has been tailgating you all the way from Byron to Yamba and when everyone is stopped by some traffic jam that is the result of a massive carnage somewhere ahead, you get out of your car and walk back to where he is – the fucking dickhead – and who is by the way some narrow shouldered half formed eighteen year-old P plate driver with a bunch of pimple faced gigglers in the back seat and you say ..

‘ You right, mate? ‘ { insert “fucken”at will, nobody is without embellishment in these instances}

or (3) Some overbeefed copper stops you stone guilty for driving fully pissed in a car without rego, plus your licence is about 4 years off renewal – add bald tyres, a little ganga in the glovebox, and he says – with a big smile, ‘ You right mate? and please step out of the car. ‘

I don’t see the problem. Why can’t they be more like us?

5 Comments Post a comment
  1. Sometimes I really miss the Australian language… except in Kuta. Good to hear you gave that tailgater what for – bloody hate them.

    January 12, 2013
  2. Ben #

    You right mate?

    January 12, 2013
  3. fucken right are you mate {said with an upward inflection}.. is yet another fine derivative, ours is a complicated and ancient language Ben, mate.

    January 12, 2013
  4. Ben #

    “To banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality.” as some Victorian bloke said.

    January 13, 2013
  5. you’re not wrong – you see how adaptable we are?

    January 13, 2013

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