property for sale – northern rivers

The property for sale is nestled on a high slope adjacent to Mount Warning and has 10 immaculate hectares of cleared land surrounding a north facing and extensively renovated homestead. In a word, it is an epic experience in architectural triumph with a premium signature placement.

The views are epochal in that they encompass the Byron light to the south, the Gold Coast spires to the north and nearby Mt Warning.

Travelling time to Brunswick Heads and that nice little right off the north wall is a 15 leisurely minutes by sealed road.

Offers in excess of $110,000 are welcome. The vendors are committed Buddhists who wish to relocate to Gilgandra and they have nil interest in capital gains. Lovely chaps with little commercial enterprise and no interest in financial affairs – as a matter of fact they wanted to give the place away but have since taken advice.

The Confidential Property Review that follows has been leaked to the writer and should be treated confidentially.

Without prejudice.

Number 1 Tantoon.

A Mountainside Retreat by the sea.

4 Bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, study, twin garage, wine cellar. Pool. Extensive decking. Wood burning fireplace(s).

Central living/viewing area.

Solitude.

(1) The 10 hectares available for sale is somewhat infected by a wild marijuana growth on its borders that may be the result of windblown seed contamination from the distant Nimbin communes.

This may not be a problem to the eventual buyer if he maintains a worldly view of human nature, if however it presents as a complication then a quiet word about the Federal liquor shop on any Saturday night may be of assistance. Weed clearance their overnight speciality. They advertise a superior service, everything will be taken away and burnt offsite.

Over time.

(2) The building itself is a traditional Queensland transplant that has been extensively renovated and has a Bang & Oulsfen sound system permanently wired throughout all the rooms, toilets, garage pool and extensive toolshed. About a dozen surfboards can be found in the roof cavity and are included in the deal – they include 3 unused and pristine Fangtails supposedly shaped by a Mr Michael Peterson.

Buddhists don’t surf.

(3) A 12m  pool dominates the semi-enclosed inner courtyard and the northeast aspect of the double-glassed in areas of the main living room is testimony to the builder’s ingenuity. The small matter concerning local Development Applications and Builders Certificates is hardly worth mentioning.

(4) Shelves for 15,000 books and 2,000 CD’s, a complete Smeg kitchen for the connoisseur – all in the one room overlooking 80 miles of coastline.

(5) Satellite TV and Comms already connected, 5 X 10,000 litre water tanks already installed, Green Fill sewerage systems in place and a Japanese inspired raised herb garden two years into harvest is also offered.

(6) Substantial wrap-around verandas and traditional Australian long roof overhangs provide the necessary shelter for the annual mid-summer rainfall. Slate floors. Glass tiles.

(7) The Freehold Property is adequately (and electrically) fenced and served well with town water, a state-of-the-art solar system power is of course included.

(8) A permanent job as Surfing Co-ordinator with the Lismore City Council paying $95,000 a year is offered as an inducement (plus super at 25% ) plus 10 weeks annual leave plus council 4WD unlimited K’s, (3 day working week, max).

(9) The nearest neighbour is a progressive nudist retreat for the treatment of substance addiction and given that an overnight stay at the facility costs in the vicinity of $4,500 and is only available to women of great wealth and flawless beauty – you may be assured of privacy.

They, on the other hand, may have a problem.

1.5% deposit for the successful buyer, three year interest free settlement terms our pleasure, all legal costs to be born by the vendor (buddhists are like that)

Feel the tranquility.