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alla marinara .. a recipe.

Surfers cannot cook, this is a well-known and indisputable fact. When we cook everything burns. Which in some instances is just as well because what we end up with is sometimes better destined for the dog’s dish …

The surfer chucks all the ingredients into a pan at the same time then sticks the pan on the fire, sits back, lights joints, opens beers and bullshits about the day’s waves.

This sort of culinary misbehaviour betrays our maturity.

We can do better. So, here’s a recipe to try on the little lady. If she gives it the ok you can do a repeat with the misfits you travel with on your next trip north.

But first ..

Pick up the rum bottle.

Step 1 ..

Add a half cup of oil to a heavy skillet, then, when you drop in a piece of chopped onion and it sizzles, throw in one whole chopped onion and three chopped garlic … we want them cooked soft and gold.

Then ..

Add two dried red chopped up chillies ..  hot as you like, don’t be a girl about it, and give the pan two minutes, don’t forget the ground pepper, some salt.

then .. add a quarter cup of dry white wine and sizzle out the alcohol.



Put down the rum bottle


One can of peeled tomatoes – Italian, please. 

A tablespoon of tomato paste 

 … and right here we hit the pan with :

1 tablespoon of chopped parsley

1 teaspoon of chopped oregano

1 teaspoon of chopped basil


a teaspoon of shaved ginger.

Then walk away, watch a movie or try to get a wave in before dark because this mess has to simmer away for at least two hours, lid almost on, if any liquid is needed use fish stock . . you be the judge of how much, you’re eating it.

A pinch of sugar doesn’t hurt if it’s too acidic. A good-sized dab of butter to slick it up.

Later, when you’re ready to add the seafood, remember you are going to surprise the little woman when she realises you’ve included a $25 container of West Aussie scampi with the Woollies marina mix.

Time now to add a dozen capers and a couple of strips of anchovy.

Time to boil the water.

Time to eat.

buon appetito

One Comment Post a comment
  1. Shane Fisher #

    I am not a surfer, though I have indulged in the Sport of Kings and I will tell you, it has lead me astray no end. I have decided on who I would have at my long table. Rick Stein would be organising it, we would have met in one of his restaraunts after my successful book/poem/talking shit essay.

    The list is long, but I am worried they would not come.

    September 28, 2019

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