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another australia day

Anyone who doesn’t buy their booze at Dan Murphys has no love for the Irish, and anyone who has no love for the Irish has a faulted soul when it comes to loving Australia.

The Irish are a brother nation like the Chinese: they drink, gamble, carouse and assault the senses in their pursuit of the honest pleasure of the fermented drop.

Dan Murphys – Ballina – 2 pm today

This fellow in the Champagne aisle looking bewildered, on a mission from his wife or lover to assess the potential of foreign bubbly offerings. Australia Day is an occasion for love and understanding and where better to commence the preparations?

I’m pushing through the usual trolley loaded with Jamaica rum and reasonably priced chardonnay, this I can do with my eyes closed … and he’s in the aisle and in the way, looking like he’s lost in space.

I say,


He twitches awake,

.. says back,

Shit, sorry mate. I’m standing around here like one of Brown’s cows.’

Haven’t heard that in a while ..


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