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go straight to the finger

This post from a woman’s point of view if only to prove that a man understands she is entitled to one when he gets too old to argue. This is the time he buys her a ring, the big one. What is not spoken of widely is that when the good wife gets to about age sixty-anything plus she finds a draft around one of her fingers.

Diamonds can fix that.

How many times does a man look at a little old lady walking past him on the street? What’s not to know? She’s going to the corner store for another bottle of whisky before the second race or she’s walked out of her home a day ago and is now on the other side of town.

The lady with a diamond ring has a difference and now she wants people to look. Problem though is her wattle neck, chicken skin arms and with all those age spots she looks like a house has just been spray-painted with her inside catching all the drips.

She said to her husband: this is the guy with a clear 15 grand and no legs for another month in Sumatra next year, ‘ NO necklace, to many wrinkles there, and NO bracelet, the veins are like a subway map. ‘

That’s why he gets her the diamond ring; but because nobody looks at her she asks the Tiffany staff to knock-up a heavy duty platinum necklace like in the picture but with a custom engraving on a bigger lock. They think that she’s as soft as shaving cream because that’s what people think about women over seventy. ‘What would Mrs Patterson like engraved?’ they ask.

‘Look at my finger,’ she replied.

So  now when Mrs P. duckles down the street going who knows where, and if somebody does look at her, mostly women, because there is this big silver chain around her neck, they read the message and go to the finger – boom boom ~


and there’s the rock down there.


3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Speaking as a rock-free-zone I’m afraid I have no idea what you are talking about Pete!

    December 18, 2013
  2. I assumed that business faded with time. Guess I better start saving up…

    December 20, 2013
  3. sjh #

    Ohh very droll dear.

    December 21, 2013

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