things that only a surfer knows – the early rising
- There are Rules of Dis-engagement –
Never wake the wife / girlfriend as you rise – she may want a cup of tea – or something a little more time consuming.
There is no time, and others are already on their way. The weather is such a fickle beast, women are more predictable and a weak man has no notion.
Rise from the shared bed silently and vacate the room like a thief, remember that it is always advisable to memorise the floorplan if the bedroom is unfamiliar territory. Always clear an exit path to the door.
Stack your clothes where you can find them without turning the lights on in the morning – some experts in the field get nude in the living room, although care must be taken here not to get active in that particular location. Escape routes must always be kept clear. You may not be SAS but the same rules apply .. Survival !! – or how to exit from enemy territory. Slap away the grasping hands.
Avoid the playthings that some like to incorporate in their eeeerhh …
lovemaking sexual relations hankypanky evening’s entertainment. Like those perfumed oils that come in provocatively shaped bottles, try getting that stuff off in five minutes next morning. Might as well keep a bucket of turps in the car. Say no to bottled temptation old lad, rely on the juices of life.
– and never leave a note, there is always the chance that the surf is not quality and you have the opportunity of getting back in ten minutes and resuming the relationship – this is when you make the cup of tea.
Walk in with it, wake her up – tell her you love her. Get to work late.
A word here to those who wish to consummate a relationship in the family home, like that old Queenslander on the hill above Broken Head – which coincidentally has promise for the early am.
Mother is always listening.
There are many other complications to this particular scenario – like the shared crashpad accommodation.
Here you are treading delicately over all those sleeping bodies – slipping away and on your way to outright 10′ Bower – when some lovely on the floor wakes up and grabs you by your sturdy calf. As if one overcoming urge wasn’t enough –
What to do ..
Only a surfer knows the feeling ..