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absolutely bloody warranted homophobia

Sculpture by Lampert and O’Herlihy ‘Beached Chicken’

A fellow is about 64 or thereabouts and being a surfer for more years than the Pope has been a Catholic means he’s got to keep the calves functional and the lungs supple (you know the saying; first the legs, then the heart) which also means that four days out of seven he’s jogging long hours in soft sand to some bloody far distant place and all the way back just to have half an edge on the three hundred rotten kids (not to mention a tight bunch of no-hoper mates) who find it entertaining to occasionally hang over the lip of the odd wave he manages to hook into whenever Home Beach works which lately is only about once in every eighteen months.

Anyway, about halfway through this punishing dune routine to the B’Joey and back the other day our suffering solitary stalwart surfer almost trips over a fellow lying in the bloody NUDE on the track.

He’s tucked away all alone in a sandy hollow on his back, oiled up like a Steggles chook ready for the rack and with a very purpled and recently deflated member just about tickling his chin.

That I remember. The bloke was hung like an rogue elephant. I wish the image would go away. That rotten bastard.

and like me you’re probably wondering what got the gentleman so excited up there on his own in the first place.

Well I wish I knew because I’m not that pretty anymore and the last time I surprised a lone gentleman in similar disposition and position on the same track I threw a chunk of sand over him, well, bits of him, the oily bits – after we had had a few loud words. My words mostly. He just kind of shrank away. I felt strangely like a dominant woman at the time but I can’t find the literature to support the phenomenon. Maybe Freud has it covered somewhere, or one of our female readers can recognise the supposition.

Come to think of it Poms on the beach with their unleashed fat waddling bucketbum dogs excite similar aggressive  emotions in me, and bellowing Americans in airline queues, and a line of levantine boofheads in their muscled-up Toranas heading north past Narrabeen, and the irredeemably pious chappies who insist on praying in public every five minutes. And to be fair, there is a handful of Avalon Catholics who awaken the ire as well – Why so prim!

This homicidal urge to purge the earth of all impurities emerges, coils out of me like thick black smoke, this almost irresistible and righteous rage to put things right.

There is a democratic irony evident here of which I am completely aware but not yet ready to confront – I’ll vote for anyone handing out money.

The stated position in summary:

Unwarranted Homophobia: A range of negative attitudes and feelings towards lesbians gays or the generally sexually queer amongst us – Zoophilia(ists) excluded.

Warranted Homophobia: A singularly irresistible urge to rip the head off a man lying naked and aroused on a public beach pathway frequented by small  children –

The Barrenjoey corner – noted gay haunt, popular with the kiddies, famous for it’s dunes. Policed by homophobic xenophobes with childhood baggage.

27 Comments Post a comment
  1. Karen #

    Please press ‘command z’ Pete. Or whatever it is that will bring it all back.

    February 11, 2011
  2. clif, simon and sharky are running the show now – occasional eric clapton has given over to 24 hours of vivaldi – nobody writes there anymore, all we see are utube grabs and the result of google searches – I can get that anywhere.

    – any alterations (in this case the addition of two words) to any of your posts was done months ago, and it was done to reflect the reality of the position – and I am a rival of the ‘baa, in the terms of one side facing another on a playing field – I like to compete and I like to keep stats – have done all my life – and in this case they tell me a compelling story.

    The ‘baa built up a great readership over the 2+ years and now we have new management – rather, you have.

    What I do with my comments is my business cliff, as are my intentions with the posts that remain – I trust that the site will leave them for me to deal with.

    I will never bag Kurungabaa, it has been good and this is how it should end – It was always a co-operative and we are always free to come and go.


    February 11, 2011
    • Rebecca #

      You seriously reckon that what you do with your comments is your business, Pete? No, I’m sorry but you can’t comment away and stir a pot, insult people, upset them, and then wipe all evidence of your words, while leaving the others hanging in mid-air – hanging from your invisible gripes. It isn’t ok, and I would have expected better ethics from you than that. Of course you can claim your words as your own, but Kurungabaa is NOT your rival. Not from our position anyway. Stats might be important to you, but you need to players to have a competition and I would not consider us in competion with you. IN FACT, I would say that Kurungabaa, and it’s editorial collective, have been relentless supporters of you and your words. While your contributions to that site have long been important and central to its flavour and success, Kurungabaa also provided a space for your work and words to flourish and grow. It’s a shame you see it so differently. And I’m sorry for that.

      All of this seems kind of out of character and sudden. I hope everything is ok?

      February 11, 2011
  3. Rebecca, I suppose the insult you referred to was mine telling simon to fuck off, yes? It had a life of about five minutes, as did his comment immediately prior to it , the one that finished me (he tubed that one) . Ring or email simon, do it out of the public eye and ask him to run the short sequence of comments past you – in their entirety – I will not be mocked.

    – and I can do precisley whatever I want with my posts, they are MINE

    I will always regard the ‘baa with good heart – but it was me who sat up at night doing the writing – and as much as i love it, over 250 essays – there were times when it weighed a little heavy –

    I will not be mocked ..

    February 11, 2011
    • Rebecca #

      Mocked? MOCKED?

      Again, Are you ok?

      February 11, 2011
      • fine mate – can we quit this now and get on with the business – I’m trying to write an essay about how the marketing geniuses at the big brands have made people disappear – it’s going to be a ball-breaker (sorry about that ‘bec)

        February 11, 2011
  4. I still post writing there, albeit only occasionally as I have other demands on my time and limited access. As does bec. As do others, actually.

    BTW you always said how you hate being edited, and you alter my post? “What I do with my comments is my business …, as are my intentions with the posts that remain”. Yet you deign to alter something I wrote and that subsequently makes me look like a slighted schoolboy? You wanted your own space and left, no big deal and nobody made it such. All anyone did at the ‘baa is wish you well.

    “You like to compete and like to keep stats and they tell a compelling story”. What, for your own ego? You alone were not Kurungabaa, mate. People came by for a variety of conversations and posts.

    We are not under new management. there was never management, so that is offensive to us who have been there from the beginning. We continue to cooperate and labour and collaborate at the ‘baa the best we can given the diversity of interests, styles and enthusiasms. Keep that in mind as you build a straw man to compete with.

    February 11, 2011
    • so sorry about all that clif – go and get angry as hell – get offended –

      We all have demands, I’ve got brown snakes, builders and carpenters – tropical storms freak downpours, floods fleas and flies – one thing though – why write if you don’t want readers? and if you want readers why not want more and more?

      no more of this please, other folks might think it’s all a bit silly – let’s go to email

      February 11, 2011
      • Rebecca #

        Incredibly sad. And hurtful.

        February 11, 2011
  5. Pete’s writing… and occasionally a good word or two from Clif, are the only reason’s anyone visited the Pelican. I did the survey. It’s a fucking medical fact people.


    Not rambling thesaurus-mongers in the comments section. Not “surfy inside” rip offs. Not third grade scrivenings couched as poetry.

    Pete’s thrown down the gauntlet. Step the fuck up – or cherish your bed of mediocrity.



    Pete, editing Clif’s comment, whether today or three millennia ago, just ain’t hep. And I know you know that. Because you’re a cantankerous asshole… just like my father.

    And I loved my papa dearly.

    Let the people’s voice stand…

    February 11, 2011
    • yeah I know, sorry clif – late as it is

      nobody seemed to mind at the time though

      February 11, 2011
  6. Chris #

    Internal struggles. Always a sad thing. I’ve had quite a few friends, with a girlfriend. Barbecues, fun times, and then it ends. sad, But we press on.

    I’ve enjoyed the ‘baa. I don’t get to read many books, unless you include other folks’ financial statements, FASBB standards and interpretations, contracts, and on and on. (Blasphemy will probably rip me a new asshole, but sorry mate, that’s the way it goes). But I enjoy reading and commenting, usually off the hip..see above.

    Anyway, all of these places keep me in touch, so to speak….Postsurf,, nugable, k-baa, and BR. Write it and i will come.

    I hope you guys can get past the friction. I can’t get past this seventh pale ale. G’NITE!!

    February 11, 2011
    • can’t write without emotion chris, find it where you can –

      February 11, 2011
  7. Can I pipe in?
    As an outsider I’ve viewed K’baa as a a place where I can find honesty, clarity, humour, intelligence (always) and passion. It drags a love of the waverider’s ocean to a better place, and presents the occasional visitor not steeped in the lore a view that destroys the stereotype.
    If Pete has found offence at something so be it. I truly hope he comes back because his voice has a cantankerous honesty that should be treasured, and again, never having met him, perhaps that cranky side I see in myself at times needs the benefit of a good lie down and a cup of tea to see that whatever the slight it ain’t worth coming down so hard on something so full of potential.
    The tide may be out but with luck it will come back in.
    Love you all
    Cranky Old Mexican

    February 11, 2011
    • good onya mick, trouble is here is that someone is missing from the debate – we have ‘bec in tears, clif in a rage (sort of) – me, I’m as calm as – brew’s mob of dingoes feasting on every post, chris in despair – and the other five readers are pissing themselves at yet another blog drama, I use the word loosley.

      but where is the big O .. ? and what did he say? … and when did he say it ? … and why is he not here ? ….

      February 11, 2011
      • No rage here. Just being cantankerous, too. Although a middle-aged version.

        As for writing for more readers, point taken, although I am happy with 1.

        BR. as for mediocrity, I am glad I even got to those lofty heights.

        February 11, 2011
  8. @Clif,

    I’ll drink to that 🙂

    February 11, 2011
    • fuck that! .. this is settling down too quick , and I never met a Professor who had mediocrity as a co-driver – and you might be happy with one reader young Evers but I’m wagering your publisher had you sign up for a couple more than that –

      – and where’s bloody Nettle, unlike him not to come to a party uninvited – and satch, the lurker, and sharky .. ? How can we have a free for all when all is not present

      February 11, 2011
      • Stu #

        It’s my birthday Pete. I never argue on my birthday.

        I’ll join in on the ‘morrow.

        February 11, 2011
  9. Clif #

    “A professor without mediocrity as a co-driver”, then you have not met too many then. As for the publisher, there were their goals, and then there were mine. I think the book sold 2 copies, and I am hassling someone to buy the third but they are waiting for it to hit the remainder bin.

    February 11, 2011
  10. check the home page stu, and mine’s a jamaica rum and ice mate – happy birthday

    February 11, 2011
    • Stu #

      Ha ha…love it Pete. Makes for a much better present than the thermos flask I received from my (usually) better half.

      I mean, really…a thermos for a present?

      February 11, 2011
      • Stu #

        Think I’d better turn the computer off for the night…

        February 11, 2011
  11. Hey Pete,

    I definitely think some of your criticisms with regards to writing and research are completely valid. Undoubtedly, there should be more focus on original material. Many of the videos/documentaries I sought out were, I felt, diamonds in the rough that our readers needed to see. Often, only a handful of people around the world have viewed the pieces that tell beautiful stories of forgotten peoples (i.e. Aral: Fishing in a Forgotten Sea, The White Lighthouse) At other times, it is true, I just found fillers that looked amusing.

    I admit then that my enthusiasm for keeping new content on the site gave way to less substantive works on my own behalf. My intent was not to “run the show,” but respect the collective by being an active participant and finding new content. I loss a bit of focus and can firmly thank you for the jostle. I hope you didn’t feel pushed out.

    I know you had invested quite some time and effort in Kurungabaa and thank you for your stories. Like Blasphemy, your layered writing is fascinating to me because I have difficulty composing works like that. It would be a great honor if you would consider helping out again. I did not see the exchange between Simon and yourself, but sometimes meaningless words are said in the heat of a moment.

    In any case, I send my sincerest regards your way and hope you reconsider being a guide and contributor to the group once again.

    Noah (Sharky)

    February 11, 2011
    • you are a good man sharky, I’ve said it before

      February 11, 2011
  12. Mike #

    Speaks loudly of Pete that everyone is shocked by his departure. Moderation is a hallmark of K-baa, don’t understand the vitirol from the latest deletion, regardless how it plays out.

    Sometimes you find yourself associated with a standard you no longer personally represent. That vacuum of perceived quality (mediocrity) forces the ambitious artist to escape the collective malaise.

    Might be a great lesson for both sides and any pain experienced will be replaced by growth. Always a good thing to keep growing because the only other inherent possibility is death.

    Keep typing Pete and we’ll keep reading.

    February 12, 2011
    • Good advice Mike, and as I’ve said before – I won’t bag the ‘baa ever, however I’m greatly disappointed that some folks positioned themselves so quickly given that there was never a debate.

      A debate would need both sides to put forward their arguments, and that has not happened – and by the look of it will never, despite an invitation (see right panel, home page)

      The collective functioned well over the years I was involved there and will no doubt continue to do so, what is not so well known is the contribution that Al put in to the enterprise – the invisible man.

      I owe them all thanks.

      Clif, Stu, Al , ‘bec, Simon, Sharky, Satch, Dina, Thomas and Ollie – lots of spice in that cook-up, no wonder it bubbles over the top from time to time.


      February 13, 2011

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