stuey
Stuey runs the local papershop and lately he’s been losing his toes because of severe case of diabetes, one gone every couple of months and because of this and the subsequent deterioration of his golf game Stuey decided to sell the newspaper business which is a real shame because over the years I’ve been able to unsettle the old bastard on a regular basis, which is what he is, an old bastard, and could you blame him given the toe situation he’s been beset with and me by handing out the worst of the best Dad jokes I could find every time I bought a newspaper or lottery ticket from him.
Monday was his last day so I went into his shop and had a look around .. pretty much all his inventory gone bar the day’s newspapers. Stuey was sitting on a bench outside looking miserable as usual so I sat next to him said g’day then let him have it.
‘One thing I just noticed inside your shop, Stuey.’
‘Yeah, what?’
‘The ceiling.’
Slow turn of his head. Eyeballs me.
‘So?’
This is what you do, give it a slow lead up. It’s an art.
‘Well, mate, it may not be the best ceiling in Ballina, but it’s up there.’
petebowes.com 
Well, it doesn’t pay to get too overexcited, I guess!
Plus, and with only about five toes his golfing handicap is off the wall.