co-op etiquette
Prawns are the go up here as are crabs, bugs, lobsters, oysters and all manner of fish – if it swims we’ll eat it- plus we are a simple and obedient folk up here on the Richmond and when the chalkboard sign just inside the front door of the co-op says’ WAIT HERE UNTIL TO BE CALLED’ … We wait.
Obedience is a virtue. Hunger temporarily denied more so.
The shop is alive with customers and we worry about the availability of our choices .. nevertheless we obey the signs.
Another sign above the display of fresh caught produce says ‘DO NOT TOUCH THE PRODUCE’ .. this we cannot but obey for to do other we imagine would result in a banishing to the back of the queue outside .. which itself stretches for many dozens of yards from the co-op and into both harsh sunshine and punishing humidity.
Where they the banished gather. Muttering and discontent.
Not so Phil though.
Phil opens the co-op door, enters, observes the line of customers waiting their summons by the overworked co-op staff, ignores them, wanders over and through everyone to the array of oysters, fingers a few trays, picks three then employs himself at the head of the queue of ordinary folk who are waiting for their purchasers to be validated.
Phil is a fuck you kind of fellow.
Plus he’s about 6’9″ with a head like a bruised tomato, tatts from arsehole to elbow and eyes with the dull shine of over-exposed oysters ..
Problem with The Phil though is when he left the building and backed his Volvo XC90 out from the co-op carpark and onto the highway without paying proper attention to what was coming at him he wasn’t in a position to appreciate the laughable rumble of approval from those left in his wake in the co-op queue who happened to be watching his tragic exit.
Which was noisy
Word is that that a 2017 Volvo X90 Phil was driving wasn’t too stable when it was back-ended by a 2005 Holden Monaro.
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