mccauslan’s answer ….
How is it possible, in a game of soccer .. to score three successive goals – without any other player touching the ball in between?
(1) Home goal?
(2) Goal from kick restart?
(3) Goal from second half restart?
– and Nick Yates is forbidden from responding.
There are prizes.
written by george macdonald fraser – mccauslan is his character – the language is his language.
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petebowes.com 
A fella – he’s centre-forward, he pits the ba’ through his own goal. That’s one.Well, then, this same fella picks up the ba’ and kicks off, frae the centre. But he disnae pass, see. No’ fear. He belts the ba’ doon the park, and chases after it, and the a dirty big full-back ca’s the pins frae him –
PENALTY.
ok so far?
‘ So, our boy grabs the ba’- naebodyelse has touched it, mind, since he kicked aff – pits it on the spot, and lams it in. That’s Two, right? ‘
– and as soon as the goal’s scored – the ref whistles for hauf-time. An when they come oot fur the second hauf, it’s our boy’s turn tae kick aff, see, ‘cos the ither side kicked aff at the start o’ the game.
So – he does the same thing again – batters it doon the park .. gets the hems pit oan him again by the dirty big full-back …. and’ ………….
ok so far?
…. and there’s another penalty, an oor boy shouts, ‘ Ma ba, ‘ and takes it again and belts it IN …’
That’s number three, and thank you George Macdonald Fraser.
Who cares? It’s only soccer, not something important, like rugby.
Or even badminton.
we care, laddie …
We?? All these avatars – are you having a multiple personality moment Pete?
Jeez, don’t answer that. I’m off to beat my head against the nearest brick wall. Slow? Me? Nah, comatose.
whats the difference between Soccer – SUPs – The Search, and Hitler ?
A: Not everyone hated Hitler