Skip to content

dog owners, there is much to hate

It happened like this :

There are times when the beach is appealing if only for the solitude and opportunity to watch the changing nature of the water surface and life in the dunes. Special hours when all becomes calm, when minutes stretch and all manner of minute life struggles away in the beachside scrub. Stare at a weatherbeaten old bit of beach shrubbery and in a little while you see that it teems with life.

I’m doing this .. me with the beach-bugs.

A man and his dog wander up the stretch, he tosses a stick and the dog retrieves the stick, again and again. The dog is a very large pug nosed Boxer, the man is grey haired and wears a floral shirt – toss and retrieve, toss and retrieve – They stop right in front of me, two miles of empty beach and here they are. Toss and retrieve, again and again. I should stop watching.

I just want to be friends

– for ten minutes they play their game, then the beast sees me and stops his nonsense, he watches me intently and drops the stick from his mouth, the man is looking elsewhere. The dog then comes at me and the closer it gets the faster it comes – This is not a friendly animal. I stand, the dog’s owner turns, sees what’s happening and calls to his dog and then he starts to run towards us. All of a sudden I’m popular.

He calls louder but the dog is now up to me and moving behind my back. I’m a dead man standing, very still. Never look a mad dog in the eye, they say.

The man gives one loud call and the dog finally retreats, moves off, ill-tempered.

I look unkindly at the grey-haired fellow and forcefully enlighten him with regard to the local ordinances of the Leashing of Dogs (1) and the Prohibition of Animals in General on The Beach (2). In other words, I rip into the bastard, and his dog, who is off chasing seagulls now the brainless mutt.

He stops and looks at me, he suggests that I leave the beach and immediately involve myself in a passive homosexual act (see footnote*), he raises a middle finger skywards in what could only be an invitation to me to appraise its musculature, then he takes hold of his genitals (outside of his clothes, thankfully)  and mimes an act of masturbation. Quite a combination and all done in quick succession, like he’s had practice.

Then he leaves, with his dog. I jog past him and reach the carpark ten minutes before he does. He’s driving a Toyota SUV and I note the plates.

Next time baby, the car goes up. Fwooosh ..!!

Have a nice day.

(* go and get fucked)

7 Comments Post a comment
  1. Hi Scott Dillon here..Have been there done that..I also had a boxer,and a rottweiller.BUT they did what I told him..I am not interested in people who can’t understand a dog..Face them,show no fear..They know their bounderies.It’s all bluff.To show fear against anything is not on.I have often asked people,mostly girls who come into my Surf Museum, what would they do if an Alsatian, a Boxer or Rottweller came into the Museum..and stood there teeth bared…WHAT WOULD THEY DO..Everyone,and I mean everyone said..Run as fast as I could away.WRONG>>>You would not get ten feet,before they had you..Face them,show no fear..It is BLUFF..Take this thought all through your life.

    Ps.I am off to Hawaii on Sunday for two weeks of dancing,surfing,and maybe sex. Call me in two weeks.Scott.

    August 18, 2011
  2. Don’t hate the dog – it’s the owners who need to get it together. 🙂 From a very together dog owner.

    August 19, 2011
  3. joe green #

    there are dog people and non dog people.i’m dog people.grab a stick and throw it.joe green has no credentials just dog experience.akita shepard mix, smart and a love bug.wheres that beach i need a 1993 eurotrash burnt.i’m off to the dog park.

    August 19, 2011
  4. Davo's Liver #

    Amazing how some folks can’t keep their dogs from bothering others on the beach. We have two dogs, they love the beach and know if they don’t behave they’re stuck at the house. All that you have to do is spend time with them. Like kids.

    The pic by mali mish is a thing of beauty. Thanks for dat!

    August 19, 2011
  5. joe green # read this .this explains what your dog thinks.

    August 19, 2011

go ahead

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: