dog owners, there is much to hate
It happened like this :
There are times when the beach is appealing if only for the solitude and opportunity to watch the changing nature of the water surface and life in the dunes. Special hours when all becomes calm, when minutes stretch and all manner of minute life struggles away in the beachside scrub. Stare at a weatherbeaten old bit of beach shrubbery and in a little while you see that it teems with life.
I’m doing this .. me with the beach-bugs.
A man and his dog wander up the stretch, he tosses a stick and the dog retrieves the stick, again and again. The dog is a very large pug nosed Boxer, the man is grey haired and wears a floral shirt – toss and retrieve, toss and retrieve – They stop right in front of me, two miles of empty beach and here they are. Toss and retrieve, again and again. I should stop watching.
– for ten minutes they play their game, then the beast sees me and stops his nonsense, he watches me intently and drops the stick from his mouth, the man is looking elsewhere. The dog then comes at me and the closer it gets the faster it comes – This is not a friendly animal. I stand, the dog’s owner turns, sees what’s happening and calls to his dog and then he starts to run towards us. All of a sudden I’m popular.
He calls louder but the dog is now up to me and moving behind my back. I’m a dead man standing, very still. Never look a mad dog in the eye, they say.
The man gives one loud call and the dog finally retreats, moves off, ill-tempered.
I look unkindly at the grey-haired fellow and forcefully enlighten him with regard to the local ordinances of the Leashing of Dogs (1) and the Prohibition of Animals in General on The Beach (2). In other words, I rip into the bastard, and his dog, who is off chasing seagulls now the brainless mutt.
He stops and looks at me, he suggests that I leave the beach and immediately involve myself in a passive homosexual act (see footnote*), he raises a middle finger skywards in what could only be an invitation to me to appraise its musculature, then he takes hold of his genitals (outside of his clothes, thankfully) and mimes an act of masturbation. Quite a combination and all done in quick succession, like he’s had practice.
Then he leaves, with his dog. I jog past him and reach the carpark ten minutes before he does. He’s driving a Toyota SUV and I note the plates.
Next time baby, the car goes up. Fwooosh ..!!
Have a nice day.
(* go and get fucked)